From Wedding Bells to Wedding Blues
It was after midnight when Kaitlin Chad Moss, her new husband, Jeremy Moss, and a handful of devoted wedding guests lingered as long as they could before they were politely informed that the celebration was over and it was time to go home.
“That’s when it hit me,” said Kaitlin Moss, 29, who was married in September last year at the Green Valley Ranch, a lodge and events space in Coram, Montana. “I’m never going to have everyone I love in one room like this again. It was hard to accept. I felt sad, and it didn’t go away.”
Kaitlin Moss broke down that night in front of her girlfriends. “I wish someone had warned me that this was something you could feel. Why is no one talking about this?” said Kaitlin Moss, who lives in Denver.
Post-wedding sadness is not uncommon among the newly married. Laura Stafford, a professor and director of the Bowling Green State University’s School of Media and Communication, and Allison Scott Gordon, an associate professor at the University of Kentucky’s Department of Communication, have jointly conducted two studies on depression, specifically concerning newly married women.
“In 2016 we looked at 28 women, half of whom said they felt sad or let down after their wedding,” Stafford said. Last year they interviewed 158 women. Twelve percent of the women interviewed in the second study expressed feelings of depression after being wedded.
“These women were the center of attention, and planning a wedding takes up so much of your time, it would be weird to not feel some kind of letdown,” Stafford said. “We also found there was more focus on the wedding than on the marriage. There was also uncertainty about their goals, their role as a wife, their relationship and partner choice.”
The pair are working on a third study where the same 158 women will be interviewed again to see if their moods have changed a year later.
There are many reasons behind the emotional crash. For some, it’s returning to everyday life. For others, it’s the elimination of planning and anticipating such a big celebration or the loss of looking forward to that cultural, life-altering event. Then there’s the diminished attention, social letdown and the pressures and expectations that come with your new life and spouse.
“For most, this kind of sadness is temporary,” said Elizabeth Sloan, a licensed professional counselor in McLean, Virginia, who added that these melancholy feelings generally lessen during the months that follow your wedding. “First talk to other married friends, then talk to your spouse,” she said.
文／Alix Strauss 譯／陳韋廷
標題小玩押頭韻（alliteration）的文字遊戲（bells和blues的b）。Hear wedding bells是認為某人好事將近，注意不加冠詞。Wedded bliss指源自結婚的幸福美滿感，屬於詼諧的講法。
Wedding指結婚儀式，marriage是婚姻狀態。談論結婚這檔事時，通常用get married而非marriage。例如，兩小無猜結婚嫌太早，英文會說：I think they’re too young to get married.而非I think they’re too young for marriage. 「婚姻生活」是married life，不是marriage life。
對某些人來說，婚禮愈是風光浪漫，婚後面對每天開門七件事（returning to everyday life）的情緒崩壞（emotional crash）就更嚴重，crash可用collapse或breakdown替換。
作者使用sadness/ depression/letdown/melancholy等意義大同小異的字來說明post-wedding blues，避免重複。如何面對憂鬱？浪漫主義詩人濟慈（John Keats）的名作Ode on Melancholy（「憂鬱頌」）值得玩味。